


Ianto's wish

by willowmellontree



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Episode: s03e03 Gridlock, Feels, Light Angst, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:13:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28880763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowmellontree/pseuds/willowmellontree
Summary: Ianto wants to be by Jack's side for as long as possible
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, The Face of Boe/Ianto Jones
Comments: 7
Kudos: 22





	Ianto's wish

A thought came into my head the other day while I was making Coffee for Jack and Gwen. A hauntingly scary thought, and it never left my mind.

I like to prevent Jack from dying if ever possible, but sometimes I can’t save him, but I try to be there for him when he does. Jack dies a lot of death. Some are quick and painless and others are long, slow and he’s always in agony. I want to hold his hand so he knows he’s not alone. I stay until he wakes again, no matter how long it takes, and I hold him. He tells me it isn’t so painful when I’m there with him.

I want to sit with him forever, but there’s every chance I could die tomorrow. Jack told me once that no one seems to take his immortality as I do. I never judge him, or expect him to sacrifice himself since it would be the easier option. He said I see him as he is now and it never mattered who he was a hundred years ago.

It wouldn’t matter if I died tomorrow, so long as I knew someone else would be there for Jack. Someone who he can trust with his heart. Someone who won’t judge him or hate him or think he’s any less of the person who he is. I just want someone to sit with him when he dies and hold him when he wakes. I want someone to love him as much and I do. Is it too much to ask?

I’m still not convinced that he’ll live until the end of time. There’s going to be a day where he dies and doesn’t wake up. Even if it’s in five billion years’ time. Everything and everyone dies, even the immortals. I hope someone’s there for him when he does. Someone to hold his hand and to tell him not to be scared. I’d be scared if I knew I was dying for the last time after living billions of years.

I want someone to tell him they’re proud of him for all that he’s done and all that he’s going to do. I want someone to look him in the eyes and tell him he’s beautiful. I want someone to say that he can rest now. Whenever that moment may be, I’ll be waiting for him. He won’t be going into the darkness. He’ll come home.

There’s something else that I want.

I want to be the one who holds him. I want to be the one to tell him he’s beautiful and that I love him. I want to whisper soft things into his ear and say that I’m proud because I am very proud of him. He’s done so much for the universe already, and he’s only just started. His actions and mind are beautiful and it wouldn’t matter what he looks like in the far future or what his name is… I’ll always be proud.

Even if I can’t do all that for him, I just want to say goodbye properly. If I died now, then I wouldn’t be able to say goodbye. He wouldn’t let me. He’d try to save me and he wouldn’t let me even think that I could die in that moment, even though we both know that it’s the end. If I was dying, then I’d tell him I love him. I know he wouldn’t say it back, because he’d see it as a goodbye and he wouldn’t want to let go. Jack doesn’t need to say it though, because I know he does.

All I need is a time machine and I could go and see his last moments.

Not a bad idea…

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

**5,000,000,053. New New York. New Earth.**

I walked through the hall of skeletons and dust. The Doctor stayed back in the Tardis since a younger version of himself and Martha (So that’s why she knew me) were already here. He was a little reluctant to take me, but he owed Jack several favours.

The place was so quiet and vast. Like it was forbidden. Does Jack really die in this place?

I finally find them. The Doctor, Martha, a cat nun… and Jack. Not that they know it’s Jack yet. He looks so different. So tired and ancient and barely holding on. I ignore the others and I crouch down next to him. He has his eyes closed, but they’re tears starting to flow from them.

“Cariad. I’m here for you.” I whisper gently.

“Ianto?” His voice is in my head, but it’s so tired and weak.

I lay my head on his, but lightly so I don’t hurt him. “It’s alright. I love you.”

“Love you…” He says back. I can feel tears stinging my eyes.

I hold on to him and just talk. I tell him that he’s beautiful and that I’m proud. I speak to him in Welsh and say I love him. I hold him, just like I wanted, and I’m there for him when he takes his last breath.

It was like loosing a part of me. Like my heart was torn into thousands of little bits. If I could, I would’ve died with him, but I still had Jack at home.

After laying with him for a few more minutes, I take a deep breath and walk back to the Tardis without saying a word.

Once I’m back, the Doctor doesn’t say anything. He just takes me back and I go back to the hub.

Jacks there. He’s chatting away about an object he picked up on a rift alert earlier, but he stops when he sees me. I must still have tear tracks on my face. He puts the thing on one of the desks and comes up to hug me. I hug him back and from then on, everything seemed alright.

Until when the next day, all the children stopped…


End file.
